Brain Injury Death Game

Immediately after my injury the paramedics were unsure if I would survive. My few memories of being in the ICU I believed I shared the room with many wounded soldiers. Months later when we moved into a different home I sensed ghosts and dealt with them for a month. We worked out an agreement.

Yeah, a brain injury is a weird place to wake up to. As we try to explain how much things have changed it's truly beyond explanation. The rules change. Our entire being has moved into a new dimension.

I have entered into periods of suicidal thought. I have entered into a desire to fight and swear. I have jabbered my nights through dreams like great novels or frightening tales were being laid out before me.

It weirdly seems as though the Spirit of Death's attention was drawn by any almost there experience. As though it believes that it drew a good card from the deck of our life. They say that a cat has nine lives. How many do we have? The lack of skipping and singing my life through hints that my nine lives have shortened. But my mind does not want to work like that. I spread my awareness across today and away from yesterday and tomorrow. This type of awareness of thought is due to my days of meditation. Do I still meditate?

Huh?

It seems like a "pick something" game. For cognitive injury you reach in and choose. How many?

For physical. For psychological. Not sure how each bag fills up but once a survivor you do find others who picked similar to you. Some? Oh, shit. Depressing and sad and glad where I am. Only through comparison I guess. Not that I'm complacent with my picks. In my struggle for the surface for much breathable air, what if I were locked inside myself in a long term care facility?

No. This is not a good time. If I met the Spirit of Death  face to face,I have maintained my desire to never bow.

I challenge.