Alone in TBI

I spend a great deal of time alone. It can be difficult in some ways while in other ways it gives me peace. Support groups are suggested and attending social invitations is considered helpful by my therapist and my brain jury supports. Even prior to my brain injury I haven't been a group or club type of person. I am a true introvert which has nothing to do with being shy. I have worked in group types of employment. Management, leadership, coaching and directing. I am most comfortable being the one behind the steering wheel. I am an observer.

My non-shy introvert can't hear with the left ear. I walk with imbalance.  Conversation reveals my word search and lack of knowing date, time, and the day of the week. I heavily depend on at least ten hours of sleep with naps while consistency is instead erratic. The ability to fall asleep is never a guarantee. While trying to fall asleep I envision falls and the need for avoidance of being hit by something which should be avoided. My well controlled diabetes is now not so. Ridiculous insulin resistance. My physical body has weakened and aged. Walking every day is short and breath taking. Emotionally I am polite and loving while anger lies buried just below the positive. Procedure mapped through name or tag is difficult. Filing or direction and names are free floating. Driving out of range is difficult. It's best to be driven. Cooking, reading, guitar and meditation has lost it's seat. Cooking can be done if done with concentration and direction. Reading needs to click an interest in my brain. The avid reader has expired. The guitar requires too much from me. Meditation is similar to having a right arm cut off. It's foreign and uncomfortable. And btw.....my editing has weakened too.

Why not be alone? Sitting with the chickens requires little and produces happiness.