Thursday, April 28, 2016

Brain Battery loss

What many TBI survivors experience is the battery of the brain running low. As we reach a level of improvement we find periods of strength. Fatigue is still present but through care giving and support and many types of therapy we do begin to find our feet under us return. Yes, we are different. Life and our reaction to it is a foreign world.

As survivors we know well the experience of three steps forward and two steps back. Even two steps forward and four back. It is difficult, to say the least. We can also tell of moving forward (?) and feeling perhaps more confident. It resembles riding a block of ice through and ice flow. When the water gets rough what we're riding on gets slippery. Hanging on is hard.

Today, I awoke like I took bad mescaline and woke up in some weird tent in a hard to get my bearings community. It brought me back to the early days of hospital release. Emotionally my fear and tears floated just below the surface. My fatigue was similar to losing my IQ. Imbalance and dizziness returned. My neck was tight and hurt. A feeling of isolation was present. The day's end is present. I napped this afternoon and it felt like five minutes, not ninety minutes. Hope felt lessened.

I hope to sleep very late tomorrow.

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